Never Split the Difference
These are my book notes of the book 'Never Split the Difference' by Chris Voss.
New Rules
Asking simple, open ended calibrated questions - the ones that the other side can respond to but have no fixed answers. It gives the other person the illusion of control, without giving them any idea of how constrained they are by it. - How am I supposed to do that? - I am really sorry, how do I know he's even alive?
While I wasn't atually saying 'No', the questions I kept asking sounded like that. They indicated that the other side was being dishonest and unfair, which made the other side to negotiate with themselves. I keep asking the same 3 to 4 open ended questions and the other person get worn out answering and give me everything I want.
At the end of the day, humans are all crazy, irrational, impulsive, emotionally driven animals, all the raw intelligence and mathematical logic in the world is little help.
As per the book - 'Getting to Yes', separate the person - the emotion from the problem, two, don't get wrapped up in other side's position (what they are asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they are asking for it) so that you can find what they really want, three, work together to get to win-win options and four, establish mutually agreed-upon standards for evaluating those possible solutions. This was under the assumption that humans understand and act rationally and selfishly to maximize their position.
This baffled Kahneman, author of 'Thinking Fast and Slow', who said, 'It is evident that people are neither fully rational nor completely selfish and their tastes are anything but stable'.